7 Dark Psychology Tricks That Make Clients Buy (And How to Use Them Ethically to Make More Sales)

Dark psychology is one of the most searched topics on YouTube right now.

And dude, I freaking get it.

Fake scarcity. Fear. Shame. Insecurity. Psychological tricks designed to get people to pull out their credit cards and buy your stuff.

Here's the thing most people won't tell you...

These tactics work.

Usually once.

But after closing just shy of $1.5 MILLION in high-ticket sales over the last 12 months, and working behind the scenes as a Chief Growth Officer for a company generating roughly 300,000–320,000 per month, I've learned something that completely changed how I approach sales.

Almost every dark psychology trick has an ethical alternative that can be even MORE persuasive.

And instead of manipulating people into buying something they might regret, you can learn how to shift their beliefs, help them make confident decisions, and ultimately create more sales in your business.

So today, I'm breaking down 7 of the most common dark psychology tactics you'll see in marketing and sales.

I'm also sharing a BONUS tactic that shows up on sales calls ALL THE TIME.

For each one, I'll explain:

• Why the dark psychology tactic works.

• Why it eventually backfires.

• Real examples from companies that have used these tactics.

• The ethical alternative I recommend instead.

• How you can immediately apply it to your content, marketing, and sales.

And chances are, you've probably fallen victim to some of these tactics yourself.

Let's dive in.

First, Understand the Difference Between Manipulation and Persuasion

Before we get into these tactics, I want to make something very clear.

I'm not against using psychology to influence people's decisions.

In fact, I believe that understanding human psychology, influence, and persuasion is one of the most valuable skills any coach, consultant, or business owner can develop.

But there's a MASSIVE difference between manipulating somebody into a decision and ethically persuading somebody to make a decision that's genuinely in their best interest.

Manipulation gets a yes once. Ethical belief shifting gets a yes they never regret.

Think about that for a second.

When somebody buys because they're scared, ashamed, or pressured, what happens when those emotions wear off?

They start second-guessing their decision.

They experience buyer's remorse.

They might request a refund.

Or worse, they lose trust in you completely.

Now compare that with somebody who buys because they genuinely understand their problem, believe in the solution, trust your ability to help them, and see how making this decision aligns with the person they want to become.

That's a completely different buying experience.

And that's what I want to help you create.

So as we work through these seven tactics, I want you to honestly evaluate yourself.

Are you leaning toward dark psychology?

Are you using a mixture of both?

Or are you intentionally applying influence and persuasion in an ethical way?

No judgment.

The goal is awareness, improvement, and ultimately becoming a MUCH more influential communicator.

#7: Fake Scarcity — Stop Manufacturing Urgency

You've seen this one before.

Probably hundreds of times.

"ONLY 2 SPOTS LEFT!"

"LAST CHANCE!"

"THIS OFFER EXPIRES IN 5 MINUTES!"

And if you've been around the online coaching industry long enough, you've probably seen what I call the classic five guys post.

"I'm looking for FIVE people who want to achieve XYZ!"

Dude.

How many times are you actually looking for exactly five people?

Now, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having limited capacity.

If you genuinely only have five available spots, that's perfectly fine.

But when you're constantly manufacturing scarcity to pressure people into buying, eventually your audience starts seeing through it.

Why Fake Scarcity Works

The psychology behind this is pretty simple.

Fear of missing out speeds up decisions.

When people believe they're about to lose access to something valuable, they're more motivated to take action.

It's the classic FOMO effect.

But here's where things get interesting.

Why Fake Scarcity Backfires

When every promotion is your "last chance," people eventually stop believing you.

Your business starts looking desperate.

And instead of building trust, you start destroying it.

We've seen this happen with major companies.

In 2019, the UK's Competition and Markets Authority took enforcement action involving six major hotel booking websites, including Booking.com and Expedia, over practices involving pressure selling and potentially misleading scarcity claims.

You've probably seen examples of these messages yourself.

"Only one room left!"

"12 people are looking at this hotel!"

"Your deal expires in 4 minutes!"

Suddenly, you're rushing to book something before you've even had time to think about whether it's the right decision.

And that's the problem.

The Ethical Alternative: The Cost of Inaction Question

Instead of manufacturing urgency, help your prospect understand the REAL cost of doing nothing.

Here's an example.

Dark psychology:

"Hey, I've only got two spots left. You need to make a decision today!"

Ethical persuasion:

"Hey, if nothing changes in the next six months, what does that actually cost you?"

See the difference?

One is creating artificial pressure.

The other is helping somebody evaluate the actual consequences of staying where they are.

And this starts shifting what I call the urgency belief.

Does the prospect genuinely believe that solving this problem matters now?

Because here's the reality.

If somebody has been struggling with the same problem for two years, and nothing changes over the next six months, there's probably a real cost associated with that.

Maybe it's lost revenue.

Maybe it's another six months of frustration.

Maybe it's missing opportunities they genuinely care about.

But here's the KEY.

Let THEM tell you what the cost is.

Don't exaggerate it.

Don't put words in their mouth.

Don't manipulate their answer.

Simply ask the question and help them think through it.

How to Apply This in Your Business

The next time you're writing a sales page, preparing a webinar, creating content, or having a sales conversation, ask:

"If nothing changes over the next six months, what does that actually cost you?"

Then let your audience answer.

And if you have a REAL deadline, like an upcoming program start date, an actual price increase, or limited coaching capacity, communicate that honestly.

Explain the reason why.

Explain the reason why NOW.

Real urgency creates clarity. Fake urgency destroys trust.

And trust is ultimately what creates long-term sales.

#6: Fear-Mongering — Stop Scaring People Into Buying

Dude, this one shows up EVERYWHERE.

Weight loss advertisements.

Business coaching offers.

Health and wellness promotions.

Webinars.

Sales calls.

Content.

You've probably seen ads that basically communicate:

"Your health is falling apart. Your metabolism is broken. You're running out of time. Buy this product NOW!"

And believe it or not, this approach can be incredibly effective at generating an immediate response.

Why Fear-Mongering Works

Pain makes people move.

When somebody feels threatened by a potential negative outcome, they're naturally motivated to avoid that outcome.

That's human psychology.

But just because something motivates somebody doesn't mean it's the right way to sell.

Why Fear-Mongering Backfires

When somebody buys from a state of panic, they're much more likely to regret the decision afterward.

And if your marketing exaggerates the problem or makes claims you can't substantiate, you can create serious legal and reputational problems.

A great example comes from the weight loss industry.

Back in 2014, the Federal Trade Commission launched an initiative called Operation Failed Resolution, targeting misleading weight loss advertising claims.

One of the companies involved was Sensa.

Their marketing promoted the idea that consumers could lose weight simply by sprinkling their product on food, without changing their eating habits or exercise routines.

The company agreed to a $26.5 million settlement.

And the fascinating thing is how persuasive the advertising was.

They used a broadcast journalist, references to major media coverage, clinical study claims, and personal testimonials to make the product appear credible.

Millions of dollars were generated through this type of marketing.

But the underlying claims became a major problem.

Just because you CAN persuade somebody doesn't mean you're persuading them with the truth.

The Ethical Alternative: Reframe the Real Problem

Instead of scaring somebody into buying, help them understand the problem they're ACTUALLY dealing with.

I call this reframing the problem.

And the belief you're shifting is the problem belief.

Let me give you an example from the fitness industry.

Somebody might believe:

"My genetics are terrible. My metabolism is broken. That's why I can't lose weight."

Instead of exploiting that insecurity, I might say:

"Hey, what if your genetics aren't the main problem? What if the bigger issue is that you've spent years jumping from diet to diet without learning how to eat properly and progressively strength train?"

Now we're having a completely different conversation.

We're challenging an assumption.

We're introducing a different explanation.

And more importantly, we're giving them something to investigate instead of something to fear.

Of course, the alternative explanation needs to be accurate for the individual. The point isn't to replace one exaggerated claim with another.

Here's How This Applies to Business Coaching

Let's say your ideal client believes:

"I need more leads."

And maybe they do.

But after looking at their business, you realize they're publishing content consistently, attracting attention, and even generating conversations.

Their real problem is that their messaging isn't persuasive enough to turn that attention into demand.

So instead of saying:

"You're losing thousands of dollars because your business is broken!"

You might say:

"Hey, your problem might not be that you need MORE leads. Your problem might be that your messaging isn't giving the leads you already have a compelling reason to buy."

See what happened?

You just changed how they think about the problem.

And when somebody starts seeing their problem differently, they naturally become interested in a different solution.

That's belief shifting.

How to Apply This in Your Content

Here's a simple exercise.

1. Identify what your ideal client THINKS their problem is.

2. Identify the deeper problem you can actually substantiate.

3. Explain why their current approach isn't solving it.

4. Share a client story or personal example demonstrating the difference.

For example:

"You don't necessarily need to create MORE content. You need to create content that actually shifts the beliefs keeping your audience from buying."

Now you've introduced a new perspective.

And you did it without terrifying your audience.

Fear creates panic. Education creates understanding.

And understanding is a much stronger foundation for a lasting buying decision.

#5: Shame — Blame the Method, Not the Person

This next one drives me crazy.

Because I've seen it used so many times in the coaching industry.

Somebody is struggling to get results.

They're frustrated.

They've tried a bunch of things.

And instead of helping them understand WHY those things didn't work, some marketer comes along and basically tells them:

"You're lazy."

"You don't want it badly enough."

"You're not committed."

"If you actually cared about your success, you'd buy my program."

Dude.

Come on.

Why Shame Works

Guilt and shame can create a temporary desire to prove yourself.

People want to feel capable.

They want to feel successful.

They don't want to see themselves as somebody who's failing.

So when you attack their identity, some people will make a purchase just to escape that feeling.

But there's a HUGE downside.

Why Shame Backfires

People naturally become defensive when they feel attacked.

Instead of opening their minds to a new possibility, they start protecting themselves.

And even when shame produces a quick sale, it can create resentment toward the person who used it.

This becomes especially dangerous in an industry where trust is already fragile.

The Ethical Alternative: Blame the Method, Not the Person

This is one of my FAVORITE belief-shifting approaches.

Instead of telling somebody they're failing because something is wrong with THEM, help them understand why the METHOD they've been following hasn't produced the outcome they want.

Here's the difference.

Dark psychology:

"You failed because you're lazy."

Ethical persuasion:

"Hey, maybe you didn't fail because you're lazy. Maybe the approach you've been following simply wasn't designed to get you the result you wanted."

Now we're shifting another important belief.

Their belief in the method or approach.

They begin questioning whether the strategy they've been relying on is actually the right one.

And this is incredibly powerful when you have a legitimately better approach to introduce.

Here's a Real Example From My Fitness Coaching Days

When I was selling weight loss coaching, I used to have conversations with people who had tried EVERYTHING.

The Atkins diet.

Keto.

Personal trainers.

Different workout programs.

Diet after diet after diet.

And eventually they'd say something like:

"Jason, I've literally tried everything. Nothing works for me."

Some of them were in their 30s and 40s, starting to believe that their lack of results was just part of getting older.

They were blaming themselves.

And I'd be like:

"Nah, bro. You've been trying all these diets, trying to eat healthy, and jumping between different approaches. But nobody's actually taught you how to eat right and progressively strength train."

And they'd ask:

"What do you mean?"

Boom.

Now we have a conversation.

I'd explain the fundamentals of nutrition and progressive strength training.

I'd show them how their previous approach differed from what I wanted to teach them.

And suddenly, instead of thinking THEY were the problem, they started believing a different APPROACH might help.

That's a massive psychological shift.

And when clients applied the appropriate training and nutrition strategies consistently, many began getting the results they'd been struggling to achieve.

How to Apply This in Your Business

Make a list of five things your ideal client has probably already tried.

For example, if you're helping coaches get more clients, maybe they've tried:

• Posting more Instagram Reels.

• Buying another content course.

• Hiring a social media manager.

• Running paid ads.

• Copying whatever their competitors are doing.

Now ask yourself:

Why didn't those approaches solve their particular problem?

Maybe they were using the wrong strategy.

Maybe they were missing a foundational skill.

Maybe the execution was inconsistent.

Maybe the approach wasn't actually wrong, but it wasn't right for their current situation.

Be specific.

Then create content explaining the distinction.

Because when you can explain why an approach failed without attacking the person who tried it, you create room for a new belief.

And that new belief opens the door to a new solution.

Don't make your audience feel stupid for what they've tried. Help them become smarter about what to try next.

#4: Flexing — Stop Making Your Success the Entire Sales Pitch

You've seen this all over Instagram.

Lamborghinis.

Private jets.

Massive income screenshots.

Luxury watches.

Pictures of somebody standing in front of a mansion talking about how you can have everything they have.

And listen.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being successful.

I'm not even saying there's anything wrong with sharing your success.

But if your entire marketing strategy is showing people how amazing YOUR life is, you're missing a much more powerful opportunity.

Why Flexing Works

Status grabs attention.

People are naturally interested in individuals who appear successful, influential, or accomplished.

And for certain audiences, especially in the business and entrepreneurship space, visible success can create instant curiosity.

But there's a problem.

Why Flexing Backfires

Your audience might look at your success and think:

"That's awesome for you."

"But I could never do that."

They admire the result without believing they could achieve anything similar.

And admiration doesn't automatically create buying desire.

In fact, sometimes it creates the opposite.

It makes the gap between where your prospect is and where they want to be feel even BIGGER.

Remember Tai Lopez's Lamborghini Ad?

Back in 2015, Tai Lopez released his now-famous Here in My Garage YouTube advertisement.

He's standing inside his garage with a Lamborghini, talking about books, knowledge, and personal development.

And dude, that advertisement became LEGENDARY.

People made memes about it.

Reaction videos.

Parodies.

It became one of those internet marketing moments people still talk about years later.

And from an attention standpoint, I actually think the approach was genius.

But here's what I want you to understand.

Getting attention and creating buyer belief are two different things.

Somebody can watch your content, admire your lifestyle, and still not believe your solution is right for them.

The Ethical Alternative: Lookalike Proof

Instead of constantly showing people what YOU'VE accomplished, show them examples of people who started where THEY are.

I call this lookalike proof.

And the belief we're shifting here is their belief that achieving the result is actually possible for them.

Let's say you're selling business coaching.

You could post:

"Look at my Lamborghini! Look at my $100,000 month!"

Or you could say:

"Hey, my client Janie started with 800 followers. She wasn't running paid ads. She wasn't some huge influencer. But here's how she started generating clients by changing her approach."

Which one do you think is going to be more relatable to somebody with 800 followers?

Exactly.

Because now they're not looking at some distant success story thinking:

"Good for them."

They're thinking:

"Wait a second. That sounds like ME."

And that's where persuasion becomes incredibly powerful.

Lead With the Starting Point, Not Just the Result

This is something I really want you to pay attention to.

When sharing client success stories, most coaches immediately lead with the biggest number.

"My client made $30,000!"

"My client generated 197 leads!"

"My client closed 11 clients!"

And those results can absolutely be powerful.

But here's what I'd encourage you to do instead.

Start by showing your audience who that person WAS before they got the result.

What were they struggling with?

What had they already tried?

What did they believe was possible?

What were they frustrated about?

Then walk through what changed.

Show the short-term progress.

Show the medium-term results.

And finally, reveal the longer-term transformation.

Now your audience can actually see themselves inside the story.

How to Apply This This Week

Pick one client who started in a situation similar to your ideal client's current situation.

Build a story around four things:

1. The starting point: Where were they before working with you?

2. The struggle: What wasn't working, and what had they already tried?

3. The shift: What changed in their thinking or approach?

4. The transformation: What results did they actually achieve?

Use their real words whenever possible.

And don't exaggerate the result or present an exceptional outcome as something everybody should expect.

The goal isn't to impress people with an unbelievable number.

It's to help the right person genuinely see what's possible.

Social proof is powerful. Relatable social proof can be even more powerful.

#3: Fake Rapport — Stop Pretending to Be Somebody's Best Friend

This one shows up on discovery calls ALL THE TIME.

It also shows up in DMs, sales conversations, and even content.

You've probably experienced it yourself.

Somebody jumps on a call with you and immediately starts trying to build rapport.

"Oh, dude! We're practically the same person!"

"Man, I was just checking out your content!"

"I love what you're doing!"

And you can tell within about 30 seconds that the entire conversation is scripted.

They're not actually interested in you.

They're just trying to lower your defenses so they can sell you something.

Why Fake Rapport Works

People are naturally more comfortable buying from someone they know, like, and trust.

So when a salesperson creates the appearance of familiarity, it can temporarily lower resistance.

But there's a massive difference between authentic connection and manufactured rapport.

Why Fake Rapport Backfires

I had an experience with somebody I was considering hiring.

And right out of the gates, this guy started trying to build rapport with me.

But it was SO fake.

Like, I could tell he wasn't being genuine.

And at one point, he said something that I knew wasn't true.

It was a blatant lie.

And immediately, I was turned off.

I ended up not hiring the guy.

Not necessarily because he couldn't deliver what I needed.

But because I couldn't trust him.

And that's what happens when people notice you're pretending.

Trust takes time to build and seconds to destroy.

The Ethical Alternative: Become the Mind Reader

Instead of pretending to be somebody's friend, learn how to describe their problem better than they can.

I call this the mind reader.

It's one of the most powerful persuasion approaches you can develop.

And it shifts the belief that they can actually TRUST you and your process.

There's a famous marketing idea often attributed to Jay Abraham that essentially says:

When you can articulate somebody's problem better than they can, they'll naturally assume you understand how to solve it.

And this makes total sense.

Think About Going to the Doctor

Imagine you walk into a doctor's office.

You start explaining what's happening.

"Doc, I've been experiencing this problem, and sometimes I notice..."

And before you even finish, the doctor starts describing the symptoms you've been dealing with.

Not guessing wildly.

Not pretending.

But accurately describing what you're experiencing in a way that makes you think:

"Oh my gosh. That's EXACTLY what's happening."

Wouldn't you immediately feel more confident that this doctor understands your situation?

Of course.

And the same psychology applies to marketing.

Here's What This Looks Like for an Online Coach

Instead of saying:

"Hey, I help coaches get more clients!"

Try something like:

"Let me guess. You're posting content almost every day. You're spending hours recording Reels, writing captions, and trying to figure out what to say. You're getting some views, maybe even a few comments, but you're still having to chase people in the DMs just to book a sales call."

Dude.

If that's exactly what your ideal client is experiencing, they're going to feel understood.

And you haven't even introduced your solution yet.

That's powerful.

Here's the Part Most People Miss

You can't just make this stuff up.

And you shouldn't rely entirely on ChatGPT to tell you what your ideal client is thinking.

You need to actually KNOW your audience.

Look at your real sales conversations.

Go back through your DMs.

Read the questions prospects keep asking.

Pay attention to the specific phrases they use when describing their problems.

Then use THEIR language in your content.

Not industry jargon.

Not complicated marketing terminology.

Their words.

How to Apply This in Your Business

This week, pull five to ten exact phrases from real conversations you've had with prospects.

Look for patterns.

What are they frustrated about?

What are they trying to accomplish?

What keeps happening that they wish would stop?

Then write a piece of content describing their typical week.

Make it specific enough that the right person thinks:

"How does this person know exactly what I'm dealing with?"

And when you're having an actual conversation, you can ask:

"Is that close to what you're experiencing?"

Then LISTEN.

Let them correct you.

Because the goal isn't to pretend you can read minds.

The goal is to understand people so deeply that they finally feel understood.

And that creates genuine trust.

#2: Fake Value Stacks — Stop Selling a Pile of Bonuses

Oh man.

This one has been around FOREVER.

And if you've ever studied direct response marketing, you've definitely seen it.

"Here's my $10,000 program!"

"But wait! There's more!"

"You also get bonus number one!"

"Bonus number two!"

"Bonus number three!"

"That's a total value of $27,000!"

"But today, you get EVERYTHING for just $997!"

Sound familiar?

Why Fake Value Stacks Work

They use a psychological principle called anchoring.

When somebody sees a really big number first, the smaller number that follows can feel like a tremendous deal.

And this absolutely can influence how people perceive an offer.

But here's the problem.

Why Fake Value Stacks Backfire

When your entire sales pitch revolves around how much stuff somebody gets for the price, you train them to evaluate your offer based on quantity and price.

And what happens next?

They start comparing you with everybody else.

"Well, this coach gives me 12 calls."

"That coach gives me 20 modules."

"This other program has more bonuses."

Suddenly, you're competing on features and price instead of getting people bought into the value of your actual SOLUTION.

Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with explaining the components of your offer.

The problem is when those components are assigned exaggerated values to make the discount look bigger than it really is.

The Ethical Alternative: Sell the New Vehicle

This is where things get REALLY interesting.

Instead of trying to convince somebody that they're getting more stuff than they could possibly imagine, get them bought into a genuinely different METHOD of achieving their desired result.

I call this the new vehicle.

And the belief you're shifting is that your approach is different from — and better suited to their needs than — what they've already tried.

Russell Brunson Is a Great Example

Russell Brunson built a massive business around ClickFunnels.

And one of the most powerful things he did was get people bought into an IDEA before selling them the software.

Think about the positioning.

Instead of simply saying:

"Hey, here's another website-building software with all these different features."

He introduced the idea that traditional websites weren't the most effective approach for certain online sales processes.

And he positioned sales funnels as the NEW way.

Now people weren't just evaluating another software tool.

They were evaluating an entirely different methodology.

And once they bought into the methodology of using funnels, ClickFunnels became a natural solution to consider.

Do you see what happened?

He wasn't just selling software.

He was selling a new belief about how to generate sales online.

And that's incredibly powerful.

Here's How I Think About This

Let's say you're a coach helping people with marketing.

You could sell:

"12 coaching calls, 50 video lessons, a content calendar, and a bunch of bonuses."

Or you could show somebody why the traditional approach of posting more content and hoping for leads isn't working.

Then introduce a different approach built around persuasive messaging, belief-shifting content, and sales conversations that actually convert.

Now you're selling an idea.

You're selling a METHOD.

You're helping them see why a different approach could create a different result.

And once somebody genuinely believes in the methodology, they're much more interested in the tools, coaching, or services that help them implement it.

Remember the Classic Infomercials?

One of the best-known examples of traditional value stacking comes from Ron Popeil and the famous Ronco infomercials.

"But wait! There's more!"

You'd see the product.

Then another bonus.

Then another feature.

Then another bonus.

And the value would just keep getting stacked higher and higher.

When I was studying copywriting, I actually spent time studying these types of commercials because there's a LOT you can learn about direct response marketing from them.

But here's what I want you to take away.

You don't have to completely eliminate offer stacking.

You just don't want it to become the primary reason somebody buys.

Get them bought into the new approach BEFORE trying to sell them the offer.

How to Apply This This Week

Start with three questions.

1. What has your ideal client already tried?

Identify the traditional approaches they're familiar with.

2. Why hasn't that approach worked for them?

Explain the specific limitations of what they've been doing.

3. What's genuinely different about your methodology?

Give that methodology a clear name and explain how it works.

Then create content that helps your audience understand and evaluate the new approach.

And when you're selling, get agreement on the IDEA before introducing your pricing.

Because when somebody believes the approach is right for them, the buying conversation becomes a whole lot easier.

Stop relying on bonuses to make your offer look valuable. Start helping people understand why your solution is valuable.

#1: Exploiting Insecurity — Sell the Future Self Instead

All right.

This is the BIG one.

In my opinion, understanding identity is one of the most powerful skills you can develop in persuasion.

And this tactic shows up constantly in marketing.

Fitness ads.

Business coaching.

Self-improvement.

Sales webinars.

Social media content.

You've probably seen messaging like:

"Real entrepreneurs don't do this."

"Successful people would never make this mistake."

"If you were actually serious about your business, you'd already be investing in yourself."

Or in the fitness industry:

"Are you beach body ready?"

Why Exploiting Insecurity Works

Because insecurity is a powerful motivator.

People don't want to feel inadequate.

They don't want to feel like they're falling behind.

And they certainly don't want to feel like they're failing to become the person they believe they SHOULD be.

So marketers exploit that gap.

They remind people of everything they're not.

And then position their product as the solution.

But here's the problem.

Why Exploiting Insecurity Backfires

Somebody who buys because they feel inadequate might experience a temporary emotional high after making the purchase.

But once that feeling fades, their motivation can disappear with it.

It's almost like the honeymoon phase.

They're excited at first.

But eventually, reality kicks in.

And if the entire buying decision was driven by shame or insecurity, there's not necessarily a strong foundation for long-term commitment.

Remember the "Are You Beach Body Ready?" Ad?

Back in 2015, a company called Protein World launched an advertisement featuring a woman in a bikini alongside the headline:

"Are You Beach Body Ready?"

And dude, that ad created MASSIVE controversy.

There was a petition that attracted more than 67,000 signatures, along with widespread complaints and backlash.

I remember hearing about this at the time because I owned a gym.

And here's why this example matters.

The advertisement wasn't simply selling a weight loss product.

It was communicating something about identity.

About attractiveness.

About belonging.

About whether you were the type of person who deserved to feel confident at the beach.

And that's where the psychology gets powerful.

But instead of using somebody's insecurity against them, there's a much better way to leverage identity.

The Ethical Alternative: Sell the Future Self

Instead of making somebody feel terrible about who they are today, help them see who they could BECOME.

I call this selling the future self.

And it shifts what I call the aspirational identity belief.

Who does your ideal client want to become?

Not just what result do they want.

But WHO do they want to be?

This distinction matters.

Because people don't just buy products, services, and programs for the tangible outcomes.

They also buy because of what those outcomes represent in their lives.

Apple's "Think Different" Campaign Was Genius

In 1997, Apple launched its iconic Think Different advertising campaign.

And what I love about it is that the advertising focused on identity instead of product features.

It celebrated the rebels.

The troublemakers.

The people who see things differently.

The people who challenge conventional thinking and believe they can change the world.

Think about that.

They weren't leading with how much storage a computer had.

Or how fast the processor was.

Or some technical feature.

They were creating an emotional connection with a particular identity.

They were inviting people to see themselves as creative thinkers who challenged the status quo.

And THAT is what made the positioning so memorable.

What Identity Does Your Client Want?

Let's say you're a fitness coach.

Does your client just want to lose 20 pounds?

Or do they want to become the FIT parent who's energetic, confident, and able to keep up with their kids?

Maybe they want to become the strong, healthy dad who sets an example for his family.

Maybe they want to become somebody who feels confident taking their shirt off at the beach.

Those are identity-level desires.

Now let's look at business coaching.

Does your prospect just want more leads?

Or do they want to become the IN-DEMAND EXPERT in their industry?

The person everybody recommends.

The coach who doesn't constantly have to chase people.

The business owner whose message actually creates demand.

The expert who becomes the obvious choice in their niche.

See the difference?

One is selling an outcome.

The other is connecting that outcome to the person they want to become.

And the most powerful marketing often does BOTH.

The Four Sales You Need to Make

When I'm thinking about persuasive communication, there are four essential things I want my audience to buy into.

1. A new identity: Who they can become.

2. A unique solution: The different approach that can help them get there.

3. A new belief: The understanding they need to see why change is possible.

4. Proof that it works: Real examples demonstrating that the solution can produce results.

When you combine these four elements, you create an incredibly compelling foundation for your marketing.

You're not just making an offer.

You're changing how somebody sees their problem, their possibilities, the solution, and themselves.

And that's the heart of ethical belief-shifting persuasion.

How to Apply This in Your Content

Here's a simple exercise.

Write down your ideal client's current identity.

Who are they TODAY?

What are they struggling with?

What do they believe about themselves?

What are they frustrated by?

Now write down their aspirational identity.

Who do they want to BECOME?

How do they want to feel?

What do they want their everyday life to look like?

What results would allow them to see themselves differently?

For example:

Before identity: A frustrated online coach who posts constantly, struggles to generate consistent clients, and feels like they're always chasing sales.

After identity: An in-demand expert who communicates with confidence, attracts qualified prospects, and builds a business around a message people actually want to buy into.

Now imagine creating content that demonstrates how somebody can move from one identity to the other.

Better yet, tell the story of a REAL client who made that transformation.

Because you're no longer just selling more leads or more sales.

You're selling the possibility of becoming the person they actually want to be.

And that is one of the most powerful forms of persuasion I know.

BONUS: The Guilt Close — Stop Pressuring People Who Aren't Ready to Buy

I had to include this one.

Because if you've spent any time in high-ticket sales, you've probably heard some version of it.

A salesperson gets to the end of a call.

The prospect isn't ready to move forward.

And instead of helping them think through the decision, the salesperson starts attacking their priorities.

"If you really cared about your family, you'd make the investment."

"If you're not willing to buy today, you're obviously not serious."

"You're choosing to stay stuck."

Dude.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen variations of this used in the coaching and consulting industry.

And to me, it's pretty sickening.

Why Guilt Closing Works

Because guilt can create a fast yes.

Nobody wants to feel like they're letting their family down.

Nobody wants to feel weak or uncommitted.

And when somebody is emotionally pressured, they might make a decision just to escape that uncomfortable feeling.

But here's the issue.

Why Guilt Closing Backfires

A guilt-driven purchase isn't necessarily a confident purchase.

And when somebody wakes up the following morning and realizes they felt pressured into buying, that's when the problems start.

Buyer's remorse.

Second-guessing.

Refund requests.

Distrust.

Not exactly the foundation you want for a successful client relationship.

The Ethical Alternative: The Open Door

Here's what I recommend instead.

Show why getting expert help could be faster and more effective than going at it alone. Then detach from the outcome.

I call this the open door.

And the belief you're shifting is that expert guidance could be a better path than trying to figure everything out themselves.

But there's something VERY important here.

You have to genuinely be willing to let the prospect walk away.

How I Approach This on Sales Calls

When I'm talking with somebody and I believe I can help them, I absolutely want them to understand the value of working with an expert.

I'll help them evaluate what it's costing them to figure things out alone.

I'll explain the process.

I'll help them understand how having guidance could potentially save time, prevent mistakes, and accelerate their progress.

But I'm detached from needing them to buy.

If I don't think they're a good fit, I'll tell them.

If they need something different, I'll point them in the right direction.

And if working together isn't the right decision, I'm okay with that.

Because here's what I've experienced.

The less attached I am to forcing the sale, the easier it becomes to have an honest conversation that can actually lead to a sale.

Now, this isn't about pretending you don't care.

You SHOULD care.

You should care about helping people.

You should care about whether your solution is right for them.

But you shouldn't need their money badly enough that you're willing to manipulate them into giving it to you.

Patagonia's "Don't Buy This Jacket" Campaign

One fascinating example of this kind of counterintuitive positioning comes from Patagonia.

Back in 2011, the company ran its famous Don't Buy This Jacket advertisement in The New York Times on Black Friday.

Think about that.

One of the biggest shopping days of the year.

And a clothing company was telling people to reconsider buying more clothing.

Now, you could debate whether there was also a psychological marketing advantage to that approach.

But what made it powerful was how different the message felt from the traditional hard sell.

Instead of relentlessly pushing another purchase, the company communicated its position around consumption and environmental responsibility.

And that aligned with the values of the audience it wanted to reach.

The lesson?

You don't always have to push HARDER to create demand.

Sometimes, being willing to tell somebody NOT to buy is exactly what builds the trust necessary for a future purchase.

How to Apply the Open Door

On your next sales call, explain why expert help could be valuable.

Be specific about the time, effort, or mistakes it might save.

Then say something along the lines of:

"Hey, based on what you've shared, here's why I think getting some help could make sense. But if I don't believe we're the right fit, I'll tell you. And if there's a better direction for you, I'll help point you toward it."

And actually MEAN it.

Because a confident buyer who trusts you is infinitely more valuable than somebody who buys simply because they felt guilty.

The 8 Ethical Persuasion Techniques at a Glance

Let's bring everything together.

Here's what I want you to notice.

Every single one of these ethical alternatives revolves around changing how somebody THINKS about something.

Their problem.

Their current approach.

Their ability to get results.

Their trust in you.

The solution you're offering.

The person they want to become.

This is exactly why I spend so much time studying influence, persuasion, and belief shifting.

Because when you understand the beliefs driving people's decisions, you no longer have to rely on pressure to make sales.

You can become incredibly effective at communicating the truth in a way that actually inspires people to take action.

How to Start Using Ethical Persuasion in Your Marketing Today

Now, I don't want you to read this entire article, think it's interesting, and then go right back to doing exactly what you've been doing.

I want you to APPLY it.

So here's what I'd recommend.

Step 1: Audit Your Current Marketing

Look at your content.

Your webinars.

Your sales pages.

Your sales conversations.

Ask yourself:

Am I trying to pressure people into decisions?

Am I exaggerating problems or manufacturing urgency?

Am I constantly talking about MY success instead of helping prospects see what's possible for THEM?

Am I selling a bunch of bonuses instead of getting people bought into a solution?

And am I helping people make confident decisions, or am I trying to make them feel bad enough to buy?

Be honest with yourself.

Step 2: Identify the Beliefs Your Audience Needs to Shift

Start thinking beyond features and benefits.

What does your ideal client currently believe about their problem?

What do they believe about their ability to solve it?

What do they believe about the methods they've already tried?

What would they need to believe about your approach for it to make sense?

And who do they ultimately want to become?

These questions should start influencing everything you create.

Because if your content never changes how people think, why would you expect it to change how they buy?

Step 3: Use Stories to Demonstrate What's Possible

This is HUGE.

You don't need to constantly tell people that your solution works.

SHOW them.

Share authentic client experiences.

Explain their starting point.

Describe the obstacles they faced.

Show what changed.

And communicate the actual results.

The more your audience can relate to the people in your stories, the easier it becomes for them to envision their own transformation.

Step 4: Sell the Idea Before the Offer

Remember the new vehicle.

Your prospect needs to understand why your approach makes sense before they can properly evaluate whether they want your help implementing it.

Educate them.

Challenge outdated assumptions.

Explain what makes your methodology different.

Help them understand the reasoning.

Then introduce the offer when it becomes relevant.

And don't confuse persuasion with persuasion at any cost.

If the evidence doesn't support your approach for a particular prospect, acknowledge it.

That's what builds genuine trust.

The Most Important Lesson About Influence and Persuasion

Here's what I want you to walk away with.

You don't need dark psychology tricks to become an incredibly persuasive communicator.

You don't need to shame people.

You don't need to fake scarcity.

You don't need to manufacture rapport.

You don't need to exploit insecurity.

And you certainly don't need to guilt-trip somebody into handing over their credit card.

Instead, you can learn to communicate in a way that helps people see their circumstances differently.

You can shift beliefs.

You can challenge assumptions.

You can demonstrate possibilities.

You can build trust.

And you can show people a legitimate path from where they are today to where they want to be.

That's influence.

That's persuasion.

And when you get really good at it, it becomes an absolute game changer for your business.

Now, remember something I said at the beginning?

I told you there was ONE tactic I was going to demonstrate on you.

It was number one.

The identity principle.

Early on, I suggested that you may have fallen victim to some of these dark psychology tactics yourself.

That introduced a little tension around your current awareness.

But the real identity I wanted you to buy into was something entirely different.

I want you to see yourself as somebody who understands influence.

Somebody who can recognize manipulation.

Somebody who can communicate persuasively without having to pressure people.

An influential communicator who knows how to ethically shift beliefs, build trust, and create demand.

That's the future self I wanted you to envision.

And hopefully, as you've worked through these seven tactics and the bonus, you've started realizing that becoming that person is absolutely possible.

Because here's what I've learned after years of coaching, marketing, and selling millions of dollars in high-ticket offers.

The most valuable skill isn't learning how to trick somebody into saying yes.

It's learning how to communicate so effectively that the RIGHT people confidently WANT to say yes.

And that's exactly what I want to help more coaches, consultants, and experts learn how to do.

Want to Learn How to Shift the 8 Core Buying Beliefs?

If you found this helpful, I've got something else for you.

I recently launched a brand-new community where I'm sharing training on influence, persuasion, and how to use belief shifting throughout your business.

I'm talking about your everyday content.

Your webinars.

Your workshops.

Your advertisements.

Your sales conversations.

And how to get more people showing up already understanding your value and interested in working with you.

Inside, I also share a masterclass covering the 8 core beliefs you need to shift to create more pre-sold clients.

If you want to become a more influential communicator and learn how to turn your message into demand, I'd love to have you join us.

Check out the community link in the description of the YouTube video.

And I've got a question for you.

Which of these dark psychology tactics have YOU experienced the most?

Fake scarcity?

Fear-mongering?

Shame?

The classic guilt close?

Drop your answer in the comments. I'd love to hear your experience.

And remember...

Your message matters now more than it ever has before.

Don't be afraid to speak it.

Be seen. Be heard. Be impactful.

Who Is Jason Meland?

I am a value creator, mentor, and entrepreneur. I help online coaches master their messaging, attract dream clients, and build thriving high profit, high impact businesses.

When You’re Ready, Here’s How I Can Help You:

1. Grab a copy for the 5 posts responsible for 7 figures in online fitness sales: https://www.indemandcoach.com/5-posts-ebook-2505 

2. Join the waitlist to get an invite to join the Client Attraction Accelerator https://www.indemandcoach.com/in-demand-waitlist 

3. Work with me personally 1:1 to build a high profit, high impact online coaching business. DM me "mentorship" here for details